Ding Dong, Merry Lee on High

Report by Gerry McDonnell

Technologies is not often a blessing. The progress of industrial automation has led to a good good friend of mine losing his work. I accept that the confectionary business has every appropriate to make the despatch of its products far more price-efficient, but that does not support the out-of-function fudge-packer.

Becoming a humanitarian, I’ve asked Dave to stay at my property for a even though until he finds his feet which coincidentally is a problem for the wife.

The evil one almost fainted when he moved his belongings in, as he was accompanied by a 9-foot extended python. Even the fact that the reptile was visually impaired failed to calm her nerves, I had to constantly reassure her that she was in no danger from Dave’s one-eyed snake.

My pal has always had a soft spot for animals he even cries when Blackburn have a player sent off. The wild Rovers encounter a tough trip to Goodison Park I’ll be in tears if it doesn’t stop in a draw at nine/4.

Dave need to try to get a job with the Premier League, as they abhor engineering. Middlesbrough aren’t complaining though they managed to pull off the most blatant robbery at a Cottage considering that Fred Barras. If the officials are type adequate to permit Newcastle a target when they place the ball over the line, they can leave the Riverside with 3 factors at 19/ten.

Rafa Benitez deserves praise for the signing of Torres and the repositioning of Gerrard, but I continue to be wholly unconvinced by the goatee. I cannot quite put my finger on what it reminds me of, but I know my mate Dave doesn’t like it. I’m loving the 11/4 for a draw amongst Sunderland and Liverpool.

It really is not usually you’ll see ‘Sven Goran Eriksson’ and ‘clean sheets’ in the exact same sentence, but it is three wins out of 3 for the Manchester City supervisor with no conceding a goal. Bookmakers have priced up Arsenal at a huge four/6 as a end result of Sven’s best commence: that’s nap wager substance.

Chelsea players are being a small bit naughty in constantly haranguing the referee. John Terry is the worst culprit, he’s certainly the grasp baiter. You have to like the 3/10 for a Chelsea win towards Pompey they’ll win with a tiny a thing in hand.

Antti Niemi is set to return for Fulham soon after recovering from a wrist injury presumably picked up even though playing against Robbie Savage. I don’t think he’ll appreciate his very first game back, it’ll demonstrate a thing of an anticlimax. The Villa are a confident phone at 5/six.

It’s been an terrible start off to the season for Bolton they’re as pointless as a salad bowl in Chez Lampard. Things are finally going their way now however El Hadji Diouf desires to leave. Sammy Lee will be ecstatic if Bolton choose up their initial points of the time at home to Studying. At 7/five, I’m priced in.

Derby v Birmingham was a Championship match very last period: there’s a fair possibility it will be a Championship match next period. I cannot see past a draw at nine/4.

Craig Bellamy withdrew from the Wales squad in midweek as his bint was dropping a minor dollars-grabber. On reflection, he possibly ought to have withdrawn a tiny previously. The even income for West Ham beating Wigan is really worth staying in for.

Manchester United are unmissable at 8/15 at home to Spurs. United have had an astonishing 61 shots on objective in their 3 Premiership matches this period and Tottenham have Paul Robinson in aim. The prosecution rests.

Spurs can consider on their own lucky that Ronaldo obtained a 3-match ban for violent conduct. My mate Dave imagined the Portuguese winger acquired off lightly he desired to see his butt more severely punished. My cheeks will be red if this week’s accer fails to oblige: Arsenal, Aston Villa, Bolton, West Ham and Manchester United will arrive to my rescue at an ostentatious twenty/1.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

Sven, I’m 6 to 4

Write-up by Gerry McDonnell

Political correctness is an admirable idea. I warmly applaud any college of imagined that helps retain Jim Davidson off the telly.

But whilst the Pc philosophy is sound in concept in actuality, it’s beginning to spiral out of control. My youngest won’t be permitted to compete in his school’s sports day this year, as the headmistress frowns upon the idea of ‘losing’. Even fun occasions like the 3-legged race have been cancelled, for anxiety of offending the McCartneys.

The policy-makers fail to realise the relevance of opposition. If i play ‘I Spy’ with minor Goliath, and I can’t get the reply, I ground him for two weeks. There’s an crucial lesson here, if there are no winners in lifestyle, we may as well all pack up and move to Scotland.

The insanity of Personal computer has also arrived at the catering industry. Some vivid spark determined to alter the identify of a well-liked pudding to ‘Spotted Richard’ in order to ‘protect’ the bashful. There’s nothing at all amusing about ‘Spotted Dick’, but then again, it was my individual fault for meeting up with Ulrika.

Sven Goran Eriksson has been there and carried out that, and I assume the smooth Swede to set up one more good effectiveness away from property. Most bookmakers have Fulham as warm favourites for the visit of Manchester Metropolis, but I make this an each-of-two match. This one particular could truly go possibly way I’ll play the draw at 9/four.

The Personal computer brigade have also demanded that ‘gingerbread men’ are renamed ‘gingerbread people’, to prevent upsetting the sensitive biscuit. Steve Coppell has the gingerest group actually place with each other outside of Ireland I’ll be viewing red if Reading through fail to do the organization towards Wigan at 6/five.

I’m heading to have to check out to adapt to this new Computer atmosphere. Right after all, if you cannot beat ’em, Stan Collymore will eliminate all interest.

Mark Viduka is not fat, he’s merely received great upper entire body strength. Newcastle look a touch massive at 11/10 to see off the Hammers.

Although Arsene Wenger was waxing lyrical over his in-sort group, he utilised the phrase ‘very playerish’. As far as I’m aware, that doesn’t truly exist, like ‘bouncebackability’ or ‘a G-spot’. I can absolutely find 1/six for an Arsenal win more than Derby.

I’m undoubtedly not a philatelist, but i feel that Roy Keane has an extraordinary stamp collection. The 11/ten for a Middlesbrough win around Sunderland sticks out like Alf-Inge Haaland’s knee.

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but I refuse to rule out the McCanns at this stage. I am significantly hunting in to the 13/ten for an Aston Villa win more than Everton.

I fancy Blackburn at 10/eleven to win at residence to Portsmouth. With Bentley, Dunn and Savage in the facet, the Rovers absolutely have the equipment to get the result.

I hope that Pascal Chimbonda wins his race to be match to confront Bolton he was reportedly a tiny bunged up. A Tottenham win is in the bag at eight/five.

Sir Alex has reported Liverpool to the Premier League for allegedly generating an illegal method to Gabriel Heinze. How surprising, someone’s acquiring tapped-up and a Sweaty and a bunch of Scousers are on the scene. I am heading to be all about the one/four for a Liverpool win more than Birmingham.

A run of 3 matches without having a win was enough for Roman Abramovich to sack Jose Mourinho. It would be honest to say that Jose’s eggs have been effectively and genuinely poached almost certainly by Liverpool. Manchester United are now unmissable at five/4 against a shell-shocked Chelsea.

Peter Crouch is reportedly seething as a consequence of turning into a bit-component player at Anfield. 1 might say it really is a scenario of Pc gone mad if a single was a pretentious nause.

My stage of self-assurance in the thirteen/1 accer of Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Tottenham and Manchester United is so large I am going to advocate that we all wager like men. On reflection, possibly we ought to bet like non-certain gender-neutrals.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

Cole, Frank Incensed and Meh

Report by Gerry McDonnell

I’ve never ever been a excellent fan of Steve McClaren, but it is wholly unfair to place the blame for the death of English football at the feet of one hapless individual. Personally, I maintain Frank Lampard solely accountable.

The great and the good of the world of punditry, and David Platt, have all been fast to defend the tubby midfielder, claiming that criticism is unjustified.

These washed-up has-beens have naturally forgotten his very poor latest performances, his need for respect rather than throwing his fingers up, Frank Tv, protracted contract negotiations, the 9/11 bevvy-up, the ‘these are my people’ line, the undignified Hammer-bashing, the ‘Super Goals’ advert and the Jamie Redknapp connection.

The woeful nationwide anthem is also a contributory element to our demise. I don’t genuinely realize why we want to shell out homage to Ashley Cole.

Looking ahead, we really should introduce a more upbeat tune that will help maintain Frank Lampard’s feet on the ground. ‘Lip up Fatty’ suits the bill completely. I can’t preserve quiet about the 11/four for a draw among Middlesbrough and Chelsea.

Right after a dreadful begin to the period with Bolton, small Sammy Lee is now searching for a new profession. I suppose he could often turn out to be a jockey, like Ashley Cole. I’m not horsing around with the 2/nine for an Arsenal win about Bolton.

Wayne Rooney and Carlos Tevez are not a striking partnership, in a lot more approaches than one particular. Aston Villa are an absolute beast in front of their individual supporters, they look overpriced at four/1 to land the shock.

The Royals really appreciated their trip to Blackburn last season it was almost certainly funded by the tax-payer. Rovers have certainly improved since then, whilst Reading through have gone backwards like a drunken crab. I’ll happily consider eight/11 about a Blackburn facet on the up.

Fulham are a good deal like Princess Diana. They looked very good for a although, but they’ve hit a wall. After six video games without having a win, a home match versus Derby will reverse their fortunes at three/4.

It is not been a excellent week for Ashley Cole. The controversial defender faces a prolonged spell out of the game, as his cushions no longer match his drapes. A defeat for Tottenham at Newcastle will spell curtains for Martin Jol a difficult earned level might be ample to prolong the agony at 23/ten.

Steve Bruce has demanded encounter-to-confront talks with Carson Yeung. The billionaire is no mug although he’s bringing a few of paper bags with him. There is no disguising the fact that Manchester City are a lock at 3/five at house to Birmingham.

Benjani has now additional targets to his repertoire: it now is made up of objectives. The 8/five for a Pompey win over Wigan is anything you ever needed in a football bet, and a little bit much more.

I’m not positive if I acquire this new cuddly simple-heading persona of Roy Keane. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Sunderland supervisor was seen keeping a hammer on the touchline, ideally Craig Bellamy. West Ham can send Keano nearer to the edge at ten/11.

The Merseyside derby is possibly the toughest nut to crack on the weekend coupon. I honestly do not know which set of supporters will be bragging at operate on Monday morning possibly because the question is fundamentally flawed. I can’t select a hole in the nine/4 for a draw among Everton and Liverpool.

I only desire that footballers could comply with the illustration of their rugby playing counterparts. Even though in fairness, Ashley Cole is performing his bit. The English rugby crew are shoo-ins at even money with a 9 level start in opposition to South Africa in the Planet Cup last.

Lewis Hamilton has the earth at his feet, not like Frank Lampard, who has to depend on updates from valuable associates. The 2/five for young Lewis clinching the drivers’ championship is much more than fair.

I think it’s time for the Frank Lampard bashing to cease. Nobody likes to see a extra fat child get constantly bullied, except if it has comedy worth. Arsenal, Blackburn, Fulham, Man City and West Ham type a ten/one weekend accer whose worth is past question.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

“England will never reclaim football’s grand prize”

Write-up by Mark Creese

“England will never reclaim football’s grand prize”

Few factors in lifestyle are specific, most would argue there is just the a single issue that will definitely happen – death. Well other than that satisfied topic, I’m right here to inform you there’s one other selected truth – England will by no means reclaim football’s grand prize – the Earth Cup. Football might not be, in the end as important as delaying the ‘d’ phrase, but as our teams get us by means of the range of feelings week-in week-out, it often seems like nothing else matters. With this in thoughts, it pains me to declare the national facet are absolutely nothing more than over-hyped, overpaid, under-reaching dole-dodgers who received lucky in the sporting gene pool.

Please don’t get me incorrect, I would enjoy to see England win the huge gold trophy, but it just will not take place and I have handily pigeon-holed the good reasons beneath:

1. Footballers’ Worldwide v Club formName me all the English gamers that have been short-listed for player of the year in the final five a long time? Hard 1 as there have been so several, all nominated for their performances at club degree. Quite rightly, these names mirror the England commencing eleven as they are the very best for the work. Except, when the white shirt gets pulled on, the expertise disappears and you are left with a squad who seem perplexed at the sight of an upgraded pigs’ bladder rolling all around. For that reason, give the greatest players on paper a opportunity, if they complete badly, attempt a new strategy with new personnel – frequent sense really should prevail.

As a kid you are told train tough and you may well play on Saturday or get into the school football squad. Take your opportunity and you’ll turn into a fixture in the beginning eleven, consider your foot off the pedal and you’re back again on the sidelines. What they don’t tell you is, if you ever before get to England level you can trade on your name and cruise by means of a good ten year global career contributing quite small and inevitably winning nothing at all.

Exhibit A: Steven GerrardLovely chap, very passionate, does a ‘Roy of the Rovers’ career for Liverpool week in week out, fit missus. All the ingredients then to be a best course international footballer. The reality you all know what comes subsequent proves my stage – WHAT HAS HE Accomplished FOR ENGLAND???

Exhibit B: Frank LampardLovely chap, very passionate, does a ‘Roy of the Rovers’ career for Chelsea when Claude or Didier really don’t, fit missus. Yep we’ve all heard the boos – WHAT HAS HE Completed FOR ENGLAND???

I imagine my testimony rests. Therefore when the nation cannot depend on it is most prominent and talented players to do the job (a lot far more examples on request) how do you get started to even ponder your best eleven? You can’t and as a outcome you will not select it, and England will shed…again.

2. Are footballers’ left wing?The only left-wing views the country has been witnessing in recent decades is the sight of a Joe Cole, Steve McMannaman or Trevor Sinclair esc player searching much more uncomfortable than David hearing Victoria singing in the shower (it’s possible that’s just my fantasy, who is aware of?!) The issue is, medically, it is impossible for an English left winger to be born, it need to be. The other home nations can do it and they’re just caught onto England or floating away from it. Time to dust off my evidence:

Exhibit C: Gareth BaleA uncommon breed, a Welshman who is really very good at football. He can play anywhere on the left and has a prolonged and trophy-less global occupation forward of him. I guess Wales obtained lucky to have 1 high quality left sided player, it is only a little spot right after all. Hang on, Ryan Giggs is Welsh too, left footed and a genius. Hmmm.

Exhibit D: Damien DuffNot considerably to say truly – class act. Damage susceptible currently but when fully fit, there’s not numerous much better as his type for Blackburn showed just before Chelsea splashed the cash and the injuries started.

Exhibit E: James McFaddenOk not technically a left winger but he can play there and to a higher regular as well. Effortlessly left footed and with an eagle eye for goal, he’s a good all rounder – like baking potatoes.

A snapshot of the main protagonists all through the footballing earth exhibits a equivalent pattern. Each and every key group has a De Rossi, Reyes, Elano, Messi or Robben design left winger except England. This critically hampers the harmony of play and halves your chance to score from a cross (unless Darren Bent plays, in which scenario you have no possibility of scoring in any method). With no signal of a sea of change to this problem, the national facet has no hope. But keep in mind even if a ‘saviour’ is identified at club degree, they’ll carry out badly as quickly as the white shirt slips about their shoulders!

3. Football oddity – PenaltiesThe believed of lacking a penalty up the park is embarrassing ample, allow on your own the believed of missing for my nation. So why say the nerves of the huge game cannot be recreated? No-a single would like to experience rubbish at any degree of the game. If you take penalties in each and every instruction session you’ll get greater – it’s referred to as practice. Keep scoring and the disappointment when you do ultimately skip will be greater, even in a instruction environment. If you never skip, you know you have cracked it, pure and simple. Now it really is time for a bit of culture and some Germans for my proof:

Exhibit F: Amazing OrangeGreat guide about Dutch society and football by David Winner. In one particular chapter he speaks to experts on the issue of penalty taking (a skill the Dutch are just as negative at as the English – therefore just the one particular significant trophy and no Globe Cup). The specialists reveal if you can put the ball in possibly leading corner or bottom corner each and every time, no goalkeeper will conserve it. This is known as physics or a thing. Who adopts this strategy? Why, it really is the Germans of course and sure they are stupidly very good at penalties!

Failing this practice fad, why not great a player a week’s wages if he misses in a mock shoot-out? Think me, when the wolf is at John Terry’s door because he hasn’t been compensated for two months, he’ll hit the back again of the net underneath strain.

By Mark Creese

About the Writer

Mark Creese is the editor of http://www.Lets-Chat-Football.com he is an experienced sports activities journalist with a enthusiasm for activity and in distinct Football. Even though not presently practicing his academically qualified profession of journalism on a complete time basis, Mark even now utilizes his abilities and knowledge to generate typical football opinion articles or blog posts for http://www.lets-speak-football.com.

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